The Burden of Culture
The American Indian Insider-Outsider
Diwali fireworks and Dussera celebration |
This conundrum is even more specific to the Indian expatriate in the US. Malleability of ideas and expression, the ability to wear all hats, be all things to everyone and an unswerving desire to please; these traits have been the reason for the success of Indians here. However these very desirable traits in the Indian immigrant, fuel an inexorable osmosis into a popular and homogeneous mass culture.
Thanksgiving vegetarian Indian 'desi' turkey |
To feed this reluctant and inarticulate sense of identity, -- this 'outsider' -- the Indian diaspora abroad, has a template for most ethnic celebrations. Celebrations like Diwali, Pongal and Id mostly fit into clean, white antibacterial basements, and bigger events like weddings and other larger community events are planned around gaudy banquet spaces or country club like settings, where insured Indian vendors providers of predictable Indian fare, provide a modicum of sanitized Indian culture.
Still the ‘outsider’ has a niggling fear, a misgiving, of short changing his progeny of all that is truly Indian. Attempts to pigeonhole the mantle of an ancient culture and roots into a translatable template are just that, trying to fit a formless peg into a square hole. Larger than the hole is the weight of all that he carries that does not fit into the suitcase requirements of international travel, spilling into intractable memories and weighty traditions.
This quest for identity, even as ski vacations are tucked in, and Christmas fervor relished, is the unmistakable cultural quandary of the so called sophisticated American Indian parent, if I can call myself that. As I prepare a quasi Indian American Thanksgiving meal this holiday season and tuck some Indian ornaments onto my six foot Christmas tree, gearing up to reuse the twinkling outside lights I recently used for Diwali, to light up our home for the holidays, I am getting ready for the holidays, albeit ‘desi’ style, the Hindi word to denote Indian.
Closer on the insider track of assimilation are the first generation American Indians, like my children, born to immigrant parents, who are also called the ABCD -- American Born Confused Desi -- in jest, by newer immigrant Indians. In a nod to culture they will pay confused lip service to their heritage, while others of that same generation presumably more self righteous, still lugging the self imposed burden of translating their roots to the next generation, will try to schedule weekend religion school visits to the temple. Scuttling in and out of Starbucks, perhaps grabbing an eggnog for their kids on their way to a Diwali or holiday party, they can wish upon a star, but cannot easily wish away the weight of an ancient culture and deep roots.